Do Our Dogs Miss Us
...As Much As We Miss Them?
When Mo and Lewie are off at doggie daycare, we miss them - even for the few hours they are away from us. Ron and I tell ourselves that it is healthy to let them go romp with friends, and it is. Still, the quiet house feels wrong. Recently, we’ve had a few dogs staying at our house when their owners traveled, and the question I kept wondering was: Do our dogs actually miss us - or do they just light up when we (or they) walk back through the door?
The short answer? Yes, most dogs register our absence, and many show it in real ways. Not every dog looks mopey or dramatic, but the bond we have with our dogs is real. In “secure base” studies, dogs stick with problem-solving tasks longer when their “person” is in the room. Swap their person for a friendly stranger, and the effect drops. This is called classic attachment.
“Hope” Dog Art by Ron Schmidt
Even when we are away from our dogs, we may not be fully gone. In an fMRI study, the scent of a familiar person activated a dog’s reward pathways more than the smell of strangers or even other dogs. Your smell is literally mapped to “good things” in your dog’s brain - and possibly the reason why owners leave a shirt that smells like them with their dog when going away for an extended period of time.
Reuniting with your dog involves body chemistry as well. Experiments show that mutual eye contact between dogs and a human family member raises oxytocin in both, which helps explain why that first look after time apart makes both dogs and humans very happy. It is biology’s way of helping a relationship hold.
Three signs your dog may be missing you
Bigger-than-usual greeting after longer absences, including vigorous wagging, lip licks, and body shakes.
“Secure base” clinginess once you are home, like shadowing you and settling faster near you.
Extra-attentive check-ins and quick eye contact that seem to “reconnect” the bond, often followed by that soft gaze we all melt for.
What about longer stretches, like a weekend away? When researchers varied how long dogs were left alone, they saw that greetings were more intense after longer absences – meaning bigger tail wags, more attentive behavior, lip licks, and those full-body “joy shakes.” There was also an increase in heart rate right after a reunion, which also suggests heightened excitement that tracks with time apart.
So yes, your dog can – and probably does - miss you. That does not mean you should feel guilty for traveling or sending your dog to daycare. It simply means the bond you invested in shows up in their behavior and in their brain. When you have to leave, give them a predictable routine, leave with a calm goodbye, and make the return calm, steady, and warm. The love is there on both sides. We feel it...and science is there to prove it.
Lewie & Ron after an afternoon apart.
Hah! Not one, but two of life’s important questions answered here. Not only “Do they miss us?” but also “Can they tell time?” Thanks, good read.